Sorry Sack of Medium Crumbs

Sorry Sack of Medium Crumbs

Rivergirl is concerned; she has noticed a distinct coolness on the part of her beloved employer since the unfortunate poultry incident. She's done everything that an aged and slightly dotty personal assistant could possibly do. She cleaned and tidied the office located in a secret Post Office box in Ansonia Station. She even crocheted moderately sized disk covers as a gift for Osiris in an attempt to get him on her side.
But still, the reserve persists.

Rivergirl is also concerned to hear that her beloved employer has been wandering the streets of Vancouver asking perfect strangers for directions. While she is very grateful that KHC approached Lauren for directions, and even more grateful that Lauren was so gracious and kind; Rivergirl has experienced Vancouverites and
believes many of them to be distinctly odd. (Note to readers: They're my in-laws, and I can call them what I want!) Rivergirl begins to consider ways to ensure that Himself can always find his way home.

Just then, Rivergirl receives a call from the dry cleaners. They have finally been able to remove the "hint of barnyard" from KHC's favorite jacket -- the one he was wearing during the unfortunate poultry incident referred to earlier. And she has a brilliant idea! Well, truth be told, it wasn't entirely her idea -- she remembered the
plot from a great literary work. In order to ensure that her beloved employer can always find his way home, Rivergirl decides to replace the quilted lining of his jacket with a thin layer of bread crumbs which will drop, one by one, from the jacket as he walks. Then all he has to do is turn around and follow the trail of crumbs back to
where he started. Brilliant!

Rivergirl has, unfortunately, forgotten the number of seagulls inhabiting the airspace above Vancouver streets. While her beloved employer is walking through Stanley Park one fine Spring day, he is spotted by the seagull alpha who alerts his troops.
(An interesting fact about seagulls -- they are rarely content to wait for bread crumbs to fall from the lining of anyone's jacket. Once they have discovered the source of food, they do tend to be proactive. Another interesting fact about seagulls, any amount taken into their system must, almost instantly, be balanced by an equal
amount of "output." It's not a pretty picture.)

KHC finally makes it to safety and rips off his once favorite jacket. "She's done it again," he thinks. "This used to be a really great jacket, but now it's just a sorry sack of medium crumbs."


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