Winter Olympic Events
We'll Never See!

From this site

11. Yellow Snow Eating Contest
10. Inebriated Giant Slalom
9. Quadathlon - Skiing, Shooting, Drinking, Driving
8. Speed Scraping
7. Finnish Sauna Marathon
6. Synchronized Snowman Building
5. Polar Bear Outrunning
4. Ice Diving
3. Three-Man Ice Lake Skinny Dip
2. Men's Single Dagger Reindeer Slaughter
1. Snow Angeling

Elaborated on in This thread

Orpheus added:

Driveway Curling (uses shovels instead of brooms)
Downhill Icy Sidewalk Braking (aka: Involuntary Skiing)
Uphill Icy Sidewalk Skiing (was: Urban Windgust Sailing)
Vertical Javelin (aka: Icicle Dodging)
Figure Driving (aka: Summer Tires in Winter)
High Density Inhaling (aka: Closed-flue Fireplacing)
Search and Rescue (aka: Multilingual Ski Trail Orienteering)
Winter Conversation (aka: the Fifty-layer Gender Guess)
Travel Agent Speed-dialing

and my least favorite:
The Coccygeal Luge (aka: Homeowner Liability Suit)

"Speed Flagpole Licking!"
(an inexplicably popular, yet apparently rarely mastered, winter sport among high-schoolers the exceptionally cold year I moved to Boston)

I as D.Rabbit added:

I have a few others I enjoy also.

Sky Gazing (after you slip and fall)
The Salt and Ash Toss ( to prevent the former)
The Sweep Lift and Chuck (snow shoveling at a cardio activity rate)
Cabin Fever Avoidance (mostly drugs and alcohol consumption)
Snickering at SUVs in the Ditch (self explanatory)
Snow Plow Dogging ( it may be slow, but it's safe)
Snow Plow Driver Gesticulation (after he has plowed in what you just shoveled and covered you in the muddy salty sludge from the road)
Hibernating ( to avoid all of the above)
Snowmobile diving? (Sponsored by Arctic Cat, in an effort to purify the gene pool.)

G1223 Added:

Men and Women's Nude Luge. Think of seeing naked people going down bobsled course on those tiny Luge sleds.


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